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KRAMER: Do you ever yearn? GEORGE: Yearn? Do I yearn? KRAMER: I yearn. GEORGE: You yearn. KRAMER: Oh, yes. Yes, I yearn. Often, I…I sit…and yearn. Have you yearned?GEORGE: Well, not recently. I craved. I crave all the time, constant craving…but I haven’t yearned. KRAMER (in disgust): Look at you. GEORGE: Aw, Kramer, don’t start… KRAMER: You’re wasting your life. GEORGE: I am not! What you call wasting, I call living! I’m living my life! KRAMER: O.K., like what? No, tell me! Do you have a job? GEORGE: No. KRAMER: You got money? GEORGE: No. KRAMER: Do you have a woman? GEORGE: No. KRAMER: Do you have any prospects? GEORGE: No. KRAMER: You got anything on the horizon? GEORGE: Uh…no. KRAMER: Do you have any action at all? GEORGE: No. KRAMER: Do you have any conceivable reason for even getting up in the morning?GEORGE: I like to get the Daily News! Watch it here. Click for high-res photo

KRAMER: Do you ever yearn? 
GEORGE: Yearn? Do I yearn? 
KRAMER: I yearn. 
GEORGE: You yearn. 
KRAMER: Oh, yes. Yes, I yearn. Often, I…I sit…and yearn. Have you yearned?
GEORGE: Well, not recently. I craved. I crave all the time, constant craving…but I haven’t yearned. 
KRAMER (in disgust): Look at you. 
GEORGE: Aw, Kramer, don’t start… 
KRAMER: You’re wasting your life. 
GEORGE: I am not! What you call wasting, I call living! I’m living my life! 
KRAMER: O.K., like what? No, tell me! Do you have a job? 
GEORGE: No. 
KRAMER: You got money? 
GEORGE: No. 
KRAMER: Do you have a woman? 
GEORGE: No. 
KRAMER: Do you have any prospects? 
GEORGE: No. 
KRAMER: You got anything on the horizon? 
GEORGE: Uh…no. 
KRAMER: Do you have any action at all? 
GEORGE: No. 
KRAMER: Do you have any conceivable reason for even getting up in the morning?
GEORGE: I like to get the Daily News!

Watch it here.

(Source: seinfeldposters)

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My dream is to become hopeless.—George Constanza [Seinfeld S03E16] Click for high-res photo

My dream is to become hopeless.—George Constanza [Seinfeld S03E16]

(Source: seinfeldposters)

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People are the worst. [Seinfeld S06E23] Click for high-res photo

People are the worst. [Seinfeld S06E23]

(this post was reblogged from bbook)
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When everything seems to be just perfect… dailyseinfeld: CARL: Hi.ELAINE: Hi. CARL: I missed you.ELAINE: Oh, I missed you!CARL: I don’t remember the last time I felt this way.ELAINE: Me, either! CARL: I think about you all the time.ELAINE: You do?CARL: Do you think about me?ELAINE: Oh yeah, all the time, all the time…although, recently I’ve been thinking about this friend of mine. CARL: What friend?ELAINE: Oh, just this woman…she got impregnated by her troglodytic half-brother, and decided to have an abortion. <Waits in suspense for what Carl’s response will be.>CARL: You know, someday…we’re going to get enough people in the Supreme Court to change that law. <Elaine breaks down in tears.> (via The Couch) Click for high-res photo

When everything seems to be just perfect…

dailyseinfeld:

CARL: Hi.
ELAINE: Hi.
CARL: I missed you.
ELAINE: Oh, I missed you!
CARL: I don’t remember the last time I felt this way.
ELAINE: Me, either!
CARL: I think about you all the time.
ELAINE: You do?
CARL: Do you think about me?
ELAINE: Oh yeah, all the time, all the time…although, recently I’ve been thinking about this friend of mine.
CARL: What friend?
ELAINE: Oh, just this woman…she got impregnated by her troglodytic half-brother, and decided to have an abortion. <Waits in suspense for what Carl’s response will be.>
CARL: You know, someday…we’re going to get enough people in the Supreme Court to change that law.
<Elaine breaks down in tears.>

(via The Couch)

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This still pops into my head every now and then for no reason whatsoever. [via ladeemadonna]

This still pops into my head every now and then for no reason whatsoever.

[via ladeemadonna]

(this post was reblogged from jerich0)
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Seinfeld S08E09 - The Abstinence

It’s no “serenity now”, but very quotable nonetheless:

Jerry: Six weeks?
George: Yeah, six weeks.
Jerry: Well, so what? you’ve gone six weeks before.
George: I can do six weeks standin’ on my head. I’m a sexual camel. That’s not the point. At least there was the possibility.
Jerry: Well, so, are you gonna break up with her?
George: I don’t know. I don’t wanna be one of those guys.
Jerry: What guys?
George: Like us. 

Jerry: Louise! That’s what’s doin’ it. You’re no longer pre-occupied with sex, so your mind is able to focus.
George: You think?
Jerry: Yeah. I mean, let’s say this is your brain. (Holds lettuce head) Okay, from what I know about you, your brain consists of two parts: the intellect, represented here (Pulls off tiny piece of lettuce), and the part obsessed with sex. (Shows large piece) Now granted, you have extracted an astonishing amount from this little scrap. But with no-sex-Louise, this previously useless lump, is now functioning for the first time in its existence. (Eats tiny piece of lettuce)

Waitress: Can I take your order, please?
George: Excuse me, darling, do I detect a Portuguese accent?
Waitress: Sim.
George: Dois cafés e uma salada grande, por favor.
Waitress: Muito obrigada, senhor.
George: Eh, don’t mention it.
Elaine: Portuguese?
George: Yeah, my cleaning lady’s Portuguese. I must’ve picked it up.
Elaine: How come he’s gettin’ so smart? I stopped having sex with Ben three days ago and I don’t know no Portuguese.
Jerry: Are you all right?
Elaine: I don’t know. It’s just the last coupla days my mind has been, not good.
Jerry: Wait a second, I know what’s happening. The no sex thing is having a reverse effect on you.
Elaine: What? What are you talking about?
Jerry: To a woman, sex is like the garbage man. You just take for granted the fact that any time you put some trash out on the street, a guy in a jumpsuit’s gonna come along and pick it up. But now, no sex, it’s like a garbage strike. The bags are piling up in your head. The sidewalk is blocked. Nothing’s getting through. You’re stupid.
Elaine: I don’t understand.
Jerry: Exactly.

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Jerry: So you prefer dumb and lazy to religious?

Elaine: Dumb and lazy I understand.

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